


Give Me Touch {So I Can Feel Something}

by spaceprincessem



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Allison Argent is alive, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Derek Hale is Stiles Stilinski's Anchor, Emotionally Hurt Stiles Stilinski, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nightmares, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Scott McCall is a Good Friend, Sharing a Bed, Stiles Stilinski is Derek Hale's Anchor, post 3b
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-22
Updated: 2020-05-22
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:41:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24323704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spaceprincessem/pseuds/spaceprincessem
Summary: Now Derek was stuck on the couch, Stiles' bare toes tucked underneath the warmth of his jeans, a subconscious move on Stiles’ part that should have startled Derek, but didn’t. He closed his eyes for a moment, drowning out the sound of the movie he was only half paying attention to and focused on the steady and slow beat of Stiles’ heart, wondering how the hell he had gotten here in the first place.Usually, he was good at pushing those feelings down into deep and dark places because that’s where they were safe. Things like love weren’t something he could afford to give out easily anymore. It had been ripped from him when Paige had died and his family had burned. It had been stolen and betrayed first by Kate, then by Jennifer. He always fell for the wrong people, but, something small whispered, Stiles isn’t the wrong people.Post 3b comfort
Relationships: Derek Hale & Stiles Stilinski, Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 17
Kudos: 434





	Give Me Touch {So I Can Feel Something}

**Author's Note:**

> Is anyone still reading sterek fanfic in 2020? Well, I am! There are probably plenty of Sterek post 3b comfort fics, but I just watched it for the first time and I have a lot of feelings okay so I said fuck it and decided to write my own! Never enough hurt/comfort sterek, right?

Derek heaved a deep sigh. He couldn’t believe he had let them talk him into doing a pack bonding movie night in his loft. And by them, of course he meant Stiles. The same Stiles that was currently fast asleep, slumped against Scott, despite the loudness coming from the giant television just a few feet in front of them. Derek’s eyes wandered around the room, taking in all of the teens sprawled around the makeshift living room they had thrown together a few hours prior. Allison and Isaac were squashed together on a giant armchair, heads leaning against each other, fingers intertwined. Lydia was resting against Aiden on the loveseat, not fully as intertwined as Isaac and Allison were, but close enough that there was little to no space between them. Ethan was on the floor in front of them, quietly munching on pizza, eyes transfixed on the screen. Somehow Derek had ended up on the couch, opposite of Scott with Stiles right between them. Kira was sitting on the floor, her back against the couch in between Scott’s legs. At first Derek questioned the oddness of Stiles mandating the seat he thought Kira would take, but when he watched, because, let’s face it, Derek had been watching Stiles _a lot_ recently, Stiles move closer to his best friend, putting his weight on the alpha wolf, did Derek realize Stiles needed the comfort, the reassuring touch of a loved one more than Kira did. He was even less surprised to see Scott throw his arm around Stiles, like he had already known that’s what Stiles needed. Now Derek was stuck on the couch, Stiles' bare toes tucked underneath the warmth of his jeans, a subconscious move on Stiles’ part that should have startled Derek, but didn’t. He closed his eyes for a moment, drowning out the sound of the movie he was only half paying attention to and focused on the steady and slow beat of Stiles’ heart, wondering how the hell he had gotten here in the first place.

_“Pack bonding movie night?” Derek asked in an exasperated tone as he tried very hard not to roll his eyes._

_“Yeah,” Stiles said with a quirk of his lips as he fiddle with his fingers, trying to exercise the nervous energy that was so very much Stiles, “I think we could all use the night to just be-” He hesitated for a moment, trying to find the right word_.

_“Normal?” Derek snorted, pulling a smile from Stiles._

_“Normal is vastly overrated, Sourwolf.” Stiles teased, but this time his smile didn’t fully reach his eyes._

_Derek frowned slightly as his eyes raked over Stiles’ face. It had only been about a month since the Nogitsune and Derek knew it took longer than a month to recover from the horrifying ordel of being possessed by an evil spirit. In that time they had nearly lost Allison and Aiden, hell, they had all nearly died and Stiles had to sit with the guilt of thinking it was all his fault, when in reality there was nothing he could have done to prevent the chaotic nature of the fox. So, maybe Stiles was right. They did need a pack bonding movie night and maybe a few other nights where they could just have fun and feel some close resemblance to normal._

_“Fine.” Derek finally conceded and he could see Stiles’ amber eyes sparkle a little, which made his stomach flip slightly and would nearly make the whole having a loft full of teenagers and junk food worth it. Nearly._

It had taken them almost a half hour to decide on what to watch. Horror had been ruled out almost instantly. They all agreed they had had enough of that for a lifetime. Stiles and Scott had tried to argue for a Star Wars movie, but they were vastly outvoted. They had settled on some comedy action movie that would inevitably have a happy ending. It was strange, Derek wasn’t used to his loft being full of laughter and fun. Unless you counted the secret Halloween rave that was thrown here without his permission, which Derek definitely _does not_ count that. But seeing everyone laughing and talking at the same time, jokingly throwing popcorn and teasing words at each other over pizza before they had settled in together was kind of…

Nice. There, Derek admitted it. This was kind of nice. 

He was so used to silence and being alone. Only having people over to plan for attacks or to set up their defences. To prepare for something that could go wrong. There had been a lot of pain in this loft, ghost of bad memories, but maybe, just maybe there could be some good ones here too. Derek had tried not to get comfortable in the idea of things being nice and quiet for too long and he tried not to want _this_ , but it felt good and Derek hadn’t felt good in a long while. His eyes wandered over to Stiles again, watching the boy’s chest rise and fall steadily. He had probably been watching Stiles more than he been watching the movie, like he was afraid he would disappear any moment. The pain of seeing Stiles as that... _thing_...was still fresh in Derek’s mind. It wore Stiles’ face. Had his voice. His mannerisms. His thoughts. But in the end it wasn’t him. When you looked past the facade, the trick the fox was playing, you could see the tightness in the body that was so unlike Stiles. The coolness in the voice, the look of complete darkness in the usually bright, amber eyes, and the feeling of pure, malicious chaos that had been radiating off of him, masking the usual scent of teenage boy, summertime, and fresh pine that made up Stiles. 

Derek released his grip on the armrest of the couch, his claws retracting back into himself. He hadn’t realized they had come out until he could hear the sound of fabric tearing beneath him. Whether he had reacted with anger at the thought of what the Nogitsune did to Stiles or something else as he breathed in summertime and fresh pine from the boy tucked in next to him, Derek didn’t know. He didn’t know why he had Stiles’ scent memorized or could pick out his heartbeat in a crowd of people. Why his chest tightened when Stiles was in pain or when he was controlled by something that should have never touched him. He didn’t know why his stomach flipped when Stiles’ eyes lit up or why, despite their never ending banter and insults, Stiles and Derek always fell back into each other, like magnets. No. That was a lie. Derek knew why. He just didn’t want to accept it or admit it. Or both. 

Usually, he was good at pushing those feelings down into deep and dark places because that’s where they were safe. Things like love weren’t something he could afford to give out easily anymore. It had been ripped from him when Paige had died and his family had burned. It had been stolen and betrayed first by Kate, then by Jennifer. He always fell for the wrong people, but, something small whispered, _Stiles isn’t the wrong people_. But Stiles was irrevocably human. He had come so close to death that it nearly drowned Derek. He was so good about keeping those feelings at bay, but recently, by a cruel twist of fate, Stiles had decided to spend a bit more of his free time with the wolf. 

He remembered getting that text from Stiles about five days after the Nogitsune’s defeat. He knew that most of the other teens were back in school, with the exception of Allison who was still recovering in the hospital. Understandably, Stiles was probably not ready to go back just yet. 

_S: Hey, this might be a little weird, but do you mind if I came over to hang out? Just until my dad comes home?_

Derek had been taken aback, but he figured Stiles didn’t want to be alone. Despite the intensity of the battle life still went on. That meant Sheriff Stilinski had to go back to work and Scott, along with the rest of the pack, had to return to school.

_S: Totally fine if you don’t want to see me. I can just go down to the station and just wait there._

Derek had hastily replied before Stiles freaked out too much. He knew the boy couldn’t sit still for too long, but it almost made Derek smile. Never ending nervous ball of energy was Stiles. Their Stiles. 

_D: You can come over. Just don’t expect me to entertain you._

So Stiles had come over and soon he was coming over three to four times a week whenever his dad’s or Scott’s schedule wouldn’t allow time to hang out. Derek had fully prepared himself for the continuous stream of talking and noise that usually accompanied hanging out with Stiles, but was startled to only find a boy with dark circles under his eyes and a half smile that didn’t fully reach his amber orbs. Of course, over time Stiles talked more. His sarcasm and clever banter slowly easing back into the boy who had had so much darkness and pain swirling inside of him. There was one night that particularly stood out to Derek the most. Stiles was laying on his couch, knees propped up, book resting against them, tired eyes moving over the words. Derek had joined him with a book of his own, settling in the corner of the couch. He had only read three pages before he felt Stiles shift on the couch, legs slowly stretching out, toes tucking underneath Derek’s thigh for warmth. Derek had frozen, his hand still holding the book, but his eyes darted out to see Stiles close his eyes, his heart slowing into the steady rhythm of sleep. Derek tried to ignore his own beating heart and turned back to his book, ignoring the feel of Stiles against him. He didn’t dare move, afraid to wake Stiles from his peaceful slumber until Scott had dropped by to pick him up.

“This helps him sleep better,” Scott whispered, starling Derek from his thoughts, “chases the nightmares away.”

Derek hadn’t realized that Scott was no longer watching the movie, but his soft eyes were trained on Derek’s face, watching Derek watch Stiles. Derek gave a small nod of his head leaning back into the couch, eyes turning towards the screen. Stiles was still tucked comfortably under Scott’s arm, his back pressed into his best friend’s side, head lolling between Scott’s shoulder and chest. Toes still tucked safely underneath Derek. Without thinking Derek softly laid a hand on Stiles’ knee, index finger making, small, soothing circles against the fabric of his jeans. The movie was over an hour later and everyone started to untangle themselves and reach for the leftover snacks. Stiles was still fast asleep against Scott.

“Derek, do you want help cleaning up?” Allison asked as she gingerly climbed to her feet, looking around at the empty cans, pizza boxes, and snack bags scattered across the coffee table.

“No.” Derek said as he waved them away, not wanting to wake Stiles with all of the commotion. “I can deal with it later.”

“This was actually enjoyable.” Lydia purred as she grabbed her purse from the kitchen counter. “Maybe we should do this again.”

“Okay, but next time we order more pizza.” Isaac said as he wrapped an arm around Allison. “I think I could hear my stomach growling half way through the movie.”

“We could all hear your stomach growling halfway through the movie.” Ethan responded with a teasing eyebrow.

The teens said their goodbyes and moved towards the giant, sliding door of Derek’s loft. Derek got to his feet, noticing that Stiles shifted from the loss of warmth, but did not wake. Scott eased his best friend down onto the couch before draping a blanket on top of him. He turned to Derek, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly.

“Stiles is supposed to stay with me tonight, but I don’t want to wake him yet.” Scott began with a sheepish grin on his face. “Mind if I drop Kira off and then come back for him? I know it’s kind of late…”

“That’s fine.” Derek said. He looked around the trashed loft, figuring he had time to kill by cleaning up anyway.

“I’ll text you when I’m on my way back.” Scott said with a small smile. He then leaned down, his lips close to Stiles’ ear. “I’ll be right back.” He whispered before giving Stiles’ shoulder a gentle squeeze.

Whether Stiles heard Scott or not, Derek didn’t know, but the sleeping boy mumbled something in his sleep before pulling the blanket closer to his chest. Scott waved his goodbye at Derek before taking Kira’s hand and leading her out of the loft. Derek was both thankful for the silence and missed the noise of having people around before he shook his head, moving to clean up the trash left behind. Every now and then he looked over his shoulder at Stiles’ sleeping form, focusing in on his heartbeat. It was almost calming, like an anchor keeping him grounded, reminding him that this was their Stiles. _His Stiles_. He had nearly finished the dishes when his body froze, hands gripping the counter tightly, claws threatening to thrash out. Stiles’ heartbeat was starting to beat like crazy and it was only a moment later that his terrified and agonized screams filled the silent space between them.

-

Stiles slowly blinked open his eyes. He hadn’t remembered falling asleep, but something was wrong. He couldn’t feel Scott’s wolf heat radiating off of his body anymore. Just the cold, harshness of metal against his back. He took in a staggering breath as his only light source drifted in from two small slits of what had to be a locker. 

No. No. _No_.

This wasn’t real. It was just a nightmare. The Nogitsune was gone. He was still himself. This wasn’t real. It was just a nightmare. The Nogitsune was gone. He was still himself. This was his mantra. This wasn’t real. It was just a nightmare. The Nogitsune was gone. He was still himself. This wasn’t real…

 _Stiles_.

It was a voice Stiles knew he would never forget, not matter how hard he tried. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to block out the voice, but it always came from inside his head.

 _Stiles. You think you can get rid of us? We are a part of you Stiles_.

“No you’re not!” Stiles yelled back, slamming his fist against the locker. The tears were threatening to spill over. “You’re not real. This is just a nightmare.”

 _Let us in, Stiles. Let us in_.

There was a slam against the locker and Stiles suppressed a sob that was rising in his chest. This wasn’t real. It was just a nightmare. The Nogitsune was gone. He was still himself.

_We are real Stiles. We are not gone. We are you._

“Fingers.” Stiles gasped out loud as he began to count his fingers. 

One.  
Two.  
Three.  
Four.  
Five. 

Another slam against the locker.

_Stiles, let us in._

Six.  
Seven.  
Eight.  
Nine.  
Ten.

“T-ten.” Stiles repeated. How could he have ten fingers? This was a nightmare, why did he only have ten fingers? 

_STILES LET US IN_

-

Stiles thrashed on the couch, the blanket tangling in his limbs, scream piercing at the top of his lungs. Derek was by his side in an instant, strong arms wrapping around his friend, as Stiles continued to scream, to fight, to escape _something_.

“Stiles! Stiles!” Derek called over the boy’s sobs. “Stiles it’s Derek! You’re okay! It’s okay, I got you!”

Somehow his voice broke through Stiles’ fear and Derek could feel him tensing as he gripped Derek’s hand that was wrapped around his chest before his screams died. The only thing that could be heard were his shaky breaths and the broken whimper that escaped his lips.

“It’s okay, Stiles.” Derek repeated, softer, lips close to his ear. “I’ve got you.”

Stiles didn’t say anything as Derek settled back onto the couch, his grip still tight against Stiles, the boy’s shaking body resting against Derek’s chest. Stiles still had a death grip on his arm, but Derek could see Stiles close his eyes, head leaning back against Derek. Tears were falling hot and fast down Stiles’ cheeks, but if he was embarrassed about crying in front of Derek he obviously didn’t care. They sat like that for several minutes as Stiles tried to regain his normal breathing.

“Fingers.” Stiles managed to get out.

Derek held out his hands so that Stiles could count them. Cold, shaking hands running over Derek’s fingers, feeling them, making sure they were real.

“Th-there were ten fingers in the nightmare.” Stiles whispered as he counted again. “How do I know this is real?”

“Stiles…” Derek began, feeling Stiles tense up once more.

“How do I know it’s not back?” Stiles shouted, panic and fear rolling off of him like waves and Derek felt ill at the stench of it.

Derek reached behind Stiles’ left ear, finding the marking that meant self. His fingers gently traced it and Stiles froze at his touch.

“Self.” Derek responded, voice steady and reassuring. “Safe.” He heard Stiles take a shuddering breath before he felt the boy collapse against him. Derek tentatively wrapped his arm around Stiles’ chest again, hoping Stiles would find comfort in it. Truthfully, Derek needed the comfort too. He needed to protect Stiles, because seeing him like this was unbearable. Stiles gripped Derek’s arm with both his hands.

After a moment Stiles huffed out a weak, “Sorry.”

“What are you apologizing for?” Derek asked, sharper than he meant to, feeling Stiles flinch beneath him.

“That was a bad one.” Stiles offered, like it was an answer to Derek’s question. “A real bad one.”

“Stiles, you don’t have to be sorry for having a nightmare.” Derek said, trying not to roll his eyes. Of course Stiles would apologize for that. It was so on brand for him.

“They’ve been getting better.” Stiles continued like he hadn’t heard Derek. “But sometimes they get worse.”

They fell into silence again. Derek focused on the sound of Stiles’ heartbeat and the feel of their chest rising and falling in unison. Derek rested his chin against the top of Stiles’ head. He was not one to give comfort, but he hoped Stiles found some in their embrace.

“It’s not always the same nightmare.” Stiles said after a while. 

Derek braced himself. He was between wanting and not wanting to hear the terrible things going on in Stiles’ head, but if Stiles had to suffer them, why should he do it alone? 

“Sometimes I’m twisting the knife deeper into Scott or throwing you across the loft.” Stiles continued when Derek had said nothing. “Sometimes I’m trapped in the basement of that mental institution screaming until my lungs give out. Sometimes it stalks me, telling me all of the terrible things we’re going to do to the people we love.”

“It.” Derek corrected. “Not you. There is no we.”

Stiles swallowed a lump in his throat. “Sometimes it screams at me to let it in again.”

“That’s not going to happen.” Never again. As long as Derek lived. He would make sure nothing like that would even get near enough to Stiles to even consider the possibility of possessing him.

Stiles twisted just a bit in Derek’s arms so he could look up at him, a tired smile on his face. “Gee, Sourwolf, I never knew you cared so much.”

This time Derek did roll his eyes, which only made Stiles’ grin grow larger. Even after the horrors he had been shaken awake from Stiles still managed a small dose of sarcasm. Derek would almost say it was endearing. Almost. 

“Don’t get too used to it.” Derek shot back, inciting their usual playful banter. Stiles turned back, heading resting against Derek’s chest again. After a moment Derek said. “It’s not your fault, you know.”

Stiles scrunched his face up, fingers digging into Derek’s arm a little. “Didn’t realize licensed therapy was a werewolf trait.”

“Stiles,” Derek said through gritted teeth, “I’m serious.”

“I know.” Stiles said as he released a tired and frustrated sigh. “I know it’s not my fault that some stupidly powerful and very evil spirit possessed my body against my will and nearly destroyed everything I love.” Derek tried not to flinch at the harshness in his tone. “Logically, I know I did my best and there was nothing I could do, but the stupidest thing in knowing that it wasn’t my fault hasn’t made that terrible feeling in my chest go away. God, as much as I want it to, it doesn’t go away. So how the fuck does that work? How do you get rid of something that you know you shouldn’t be feeling?”

“How cliched would it be if I said with time?” Derek asked. This earned him a playful nudge of an elbow in his side, but he could feel Stiles relaxing a little bit again. 

“I take it back.” Stiles said as he drummed his fingers against Derek’s arm. “Licensed therapy is _not_ a werewolf trait.”

Derek snorted in amusement as he rolled his eyes again. 

“I know, eventually, it will get better with time.” Stiles said a little more seriously, a little more softly. “Those first few days were unbelievably awful. I couldn’t close my eyes without seeing it or the terrible things it had done. Sleeping seemed completely out of the question. Even when I completely exhausted myself I couldn’t escape them.”

Derek gripped Stiles a little tighter, pulling him a little closer to his chest, like the very action would chase away every nightmare Stiles had ever had.

“Then, Scott stayed over and when I fell asleep next to him, I felt safe.” Stiles explained as he looked up at the ceiling. “I still had a nightmare, but it was different. It seemed farther away, like I was watching it through a foggy window. When I woke up I wasn’t screaming at the top of my lungs or trashing in my bed and it was nearly morning.” Stiles said with a small smile.

“But it wasn’t just Scott who had this effect on me.” Stiles continued. “I was easily falling asleep sitting next to my dad on the couch as we watched a game together and sometimes when Lydia came over to try and help catch me up on school work, much to her chagrin.”

Derek laughed at that. He could imagine Lydia scolding Stiles for falling asleep during a study session. 

“One time I even fell asleep next to Melissa on the couch while we were waiting for Scott to finish showering so we could watch a movie together.” He said with a slight chuckle. “Slowly, the nightmares started to fade, not completely gone, but not always there. On nights when I’m alone they sometimes hit a little worse. Staying with Scott helps me the most.” Stiles was suddenly looking up at Derek. “And that one time I fell asleep here, next to you. No nightmares.”

Derek swallowed the lump in his throat he didn’t realize was there. Stiles’ warm, amber eyes were watching him steadily.

“Must be a wolf thing.” Derek teased, not knowing what else to say. He caught Stiles’ lips turning up into a grin though, which eased the tension that was constricting his heart. Stiles looking at him like that shouldn’t undo him the way it does, but yet, here they were.

“Somedays I feel okay being alone, getting better with the thoughts in my head.” Stiles said, his voice dropping low again. “Other days it feels like there are never enough people in the room to drown out the terrible voices or make me feel safe.”

Stiles’ words made Derek’s eyes snap open wide in realization. “That’s why you wanted to do a pack movie night.” He could feel Stiles jerk his head in agreement. “You knew it was going to be a bad day.”

“My dad’s working late tonight and I wasn’t expecting to fall asleep a quarter of the way through the movie.” Stiles said with a slight shrug of his shoulders. “Scott usually deals with me on my worst nights.” 

Derek could see Stiles frowning.

“I hate placing the burden on him, but he thinks it’s a fair trade for not stopping the Nogitsune sooner.” Stiles snorted like he knew Scott was an idiot for thinking he had any more power than Stiles did at stopping this whole thing. “Although, I’m probably the selfish one for not wanting to handle this on my own.”

“That’s not selfish.” Derek said immediately. “That’s human.”

“Oh yes,” Stiles said loftily, “I guess I’m back to being the token human of the group.” But there was amusement in his voice.

“There’s nothing wrong with that.” Derek replied softly. Yes, Stiles was human, but that never seemed to stop him from chasing after werewolves and other supernatural creatures if it meant his friends would be safe. Stiles was probably the bravest one out of all of them. 

Stiles shifted so he could see Derek’s face again. “Maybe I should get possessed by evil spirits more often, if it means I get caring Derek Hale holding me in his big, strong arms.”

“I might kill you.” Derek said, but he could feel Stiles hold onto him a little tighter so Derek couldn’t pull away. 

“Too late, you didn’t deny that you care about me.” Stiles said, but his smile faded slightly. “But seriously, I hope I never have to go through that ever again.”

Derek released a small puff of air between his lips, fully intending on telling Stiles that he would do everything within his power to make sure that wouldn’t happen again. That the whole pack would never let something hurt and use Stiles for as long as they lived. He didn’t get the chance, though, as his phone buzzed on the coffee table. The noise startled Stiles, but Derek managed to keep a comforting grip on him as he reached out to grab it.

_Scott: On my way back to get Stiles_

“Is that Scott?” Stiles asked as he looked up at the bright screen with tired eyes.

“It is.” Derek said as he began texting back.

Stiles was reluctant to release Derek’s arms so he could text, but he knew he would have to be getting up soon anyway when Scott got here. As he sat up he was suddenly missing the warmth of being pressed against Derek for so long. It sent a shiver down his spine and he tried to ignore the blushing in his cheeks when Derek pressed a calming hand into the small of Stiles’ back.

“Well, at least you’ll be able to get me off of your hands and finally have a quiet evening.” Stiles said jokingly, but Derek could tell it was forced.

“Actually,” Derek said as he sat the phone down, “I told Scott to go home and get some rest, you’re staying with me this evening.”

Stiles’ eyes widened, his mouth falling open slightly as he stared at Derek, dumfounded. “What?”

Derek got up from the couch stretching his stiff muscles. He hadn’t realized how tightly he had been holding Stiles. “I told Scott to get some sleep. I think I can take care of you for one night,” Derek paused as he looked down at Stiles, suddenly realizing that maybe Scott was the one Stiles wanted to be around instead of Derek, “unless you don’t want-” he started awkwardly.

“No!” Stiles said as he got to his feet a little too quickly, stumbling forward so that Derek had to reach out and steady him. “No, I, just don’t want to keep you up or annoy you with my night terrors. It’s probably going to be a bad night and let me just say-”

“Stiles,” Derek cut in, “it’s fine. I want to help.”

Stiles couldn’t tell if he was more happy at the thought of Derek wanting to take care of him or terrified of what Derek might see if he stayed over. He shuffled on his feet uncomfortably. “Okay, I can stay on the couch…” Stiles began

Derek barked a laugh at that. “Stiles, the bed is bigger and way more comfortable. Come on.”

Derek turned and moved towards the bedroom, not even waiting for Stiles to argue. Stiles felt his jaw drop for the second time in the matter of minutes, but quickly shut his mouth, silently thanking everyone and everything that was listening for this momentous opportunity to sleep in Derek’s bed. He could really feel his cheeks burning now and he hoped that Derek’s stupid werewolf powers weren’t listening to his rapid heartbeat. Derek offered Stiles a pair of sweatpants, which he had to roll twice at the hips, because not everyone could be a greek god like Derek. When Derek pulled back the sheets of the bed before moving to the bathroom to get ready to sleep Stiles laughed.

“What?” Derek asked as he looked back at Stiles, who was looking down at the bed with a stupid grin on his face.

“I half expected you to have leather sheets considering everything else you own.” Stiles said with a shrug of his shoulders, still grinning stupidly.

Derek made a noise that was somewhere between an exasperated growl and a snort of amusement before turning back to the bathroom. 

Stiles climbed into the bed, finding it surprisingly soft and comfortable. He would have taken Derek as the stiff mattress kind of guy, but apparently the wolf was full of surprises today. He wondered how often Derek actually used this bed considering how many late nights ended with supernatural dangers and battles. His fingers ran over the space where Derek would eventually fill. He didn’t understand why Derek would need a bed so big, but then he suddenly remembered that Derek wasn’t the only one that had been in this bed. Stiles' face immediately squished in disgust as he remembered something Isaac had said about Jennifer, their old teacher, and human sacrificing Darach, rolling with Derek in the sheets of his bed. Maybe if there was someone to blame for this whole thing that woman was well on her way to being number one. If she hadn’t taken their parents then they wouldn’t have had to do that ritual, leaving the door to their minds ajar.

_When is a door not a door?_

Stiles felt another shiver go down his spine as that familiar voice filled his head.

“You okay?” Derek asked as he suddenly appeared by the side of the bed.

Stiles huffed in amusement. Werewolf powers. “Mostly.” He responded, knowing very well that Derek would be able to know if he was lying. His eyes moved across Derek’s face. Usually the wolf was very good at checking his emotions, well maybe besides anger, but right at this moment Stiles felt like he was an open book. Knowing Derek, because as much as Derek thought he was alone or tried to be mysterious, Stiles knew Derek pretty well and he could see guilt and something close to fear in those green orbs. 

“Are you okay?” Stiles asked in return breaking whatever spell had come over Derek for a moment.

“Fine.” Derek responded.

Despite not having lie detecting werewolf powers Stiles arched an eyebrow knowing very well that Derek was lying. Derek was beginning to regret telling Scott to leave Stiles with him for the evening. He hated how easily Stiles could read him. He tried to ignore the look on Stiles' face as he climbed into bed.

“Do you want me to keep the light on?” Derek asked.

Stiles shook his head. “No, it’s okay. Just because I might not be getting sleep tonight, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t.”

Derek flicked the light off sinking down into the bed before he felt Stiles slowly settle down next to him. They both laid on their sides, facing each other, but not touching. Stiles was so close that Derek could see the details in his eyelashes, the sweet smell of pine returning in the quietness of his bedroom. Derek hadn’t realized how much he missed, how much he craved, the feel of someone next to him, the promise of a gentle touch that wouldn’t turn around and twist the knife in his back. 

_Stiles wasn’t the wrong people_

The thought crossed his mind again, but he tried to push it away. Stiles didn’t like people like Derek. Stiles fell in love with people like Lydia and kissed girls like Malia. Stiles was lively energy and hope. Sunshine pouring over the horizon after the darkest night. Stiles was a lot of things that Derek wasn’t. Maybe Stiles wasn’t the wrong people, but Derek was definitely the wrong people for Stiles. 

“You’re thinking too hard.” Stiles whispered in the darkness.

Derek grunted in response. “How can you tell?”

“It’s my super human powers of perception.” Stiles answered with a slight shrug of his shoulders before he yawned. “Anything important going on in there?” He asked as he reached out his finger, tapping gently against Derek’s temple. 

“Nothing that concerns you.” He said flatly. Pushing Stiles away was smart. Safe.

It was Stiles’ turn to snort in response. He was used to Derek putting up his walls, even when it finally seemed like Stiles had finally begun to tear them down. “So it’s okay for me to tell you everything going on inside this nightmare of a cage,” he said as he pointed to his head knowing full well that Derek could see him in the dark, “but it’s not okay for you to share in return?”

Derek tried to lick his lips, which had gone suddenly dry. Of course Stiles would push it because that’s what Stiles did. It was both comforting and infuriating.

“Why did you want me to stay?” Stiles asked when Derek remained silent.

Derek was thankful Stiles couldn’t see his cheeks burning in the dark and _fuck_ , had Stiles moved closer to him? He could feel Stiles’ legs pressed up against his own, but he didn’t dare pull away. It was just small touches here and there over the past few years, but they were always gentle, always yearning. A grip on his shoulder, anchoring him to reality when Byod had died. A clasp of a hand when Stiles had come back for him in the elevator. A fleeting brush of fingers against skin as they moved Cora into the ambulance. Stiles tucking his too cold human toes underneath Derek for warmth and comfort and safety. 

“Just, try to get some sleep Stiles.” Derek finally huffed as he closed his eyes, knowing full and well that Stiles was going to do the _exact_ opposite and keep pestering him with questions until he was satisfied with an answer. He braced himself for the never ending speech, but it never came. Instead he felt two hands gently lay against his cheeks. Derek slowly blinked his eyes open.

“Derek, I need to know, please.” Stiles said in a voice that was so unlike him, so soft and pleading.

“To give Scott a break and help you sleep.” 

It wasn’t a total lie.

“Why?” Stiles pressed on.

_“Stiles.”_ Derek whined. He was definitely regretting this now. He thought Stiles would just pass out as soon as he hit the bed. Waking Stiles from his night terrors was equally as terrifying as possibly confessing his feelings.

“Derek, I know it’s hard for you to say, to trust,” Stiles began, “and it’s not like I haven’t hurt people-”

“That wasn’t you.” Derek cut in immediately. Stiles wasn’t Kate. He wasn’t Jennifer. And he certainly wasn’t the Nogitsune.

“But I won’t hurt you in that way,” Stiles continued as one of his hands moved over Derek’s bare chest, right over his heart, “I won’t betray that.”

Derek could hear the steady beat of Stiles’ heart picking up and he wondered if Stiles could hear his own, beating out of his chest. 

“So, why did you want me to stay?” Stiles asked again.

He was closer, _so much closer_. His lips just a breath away from Derek’s own, their foreheads leaning against each other. Derek was never good with words and he felt like he never would be, but fuck it. His own hand moved to rest against the back of Stiles’ neck, thumb tracing over the pale and soft skin practically glowing in the moonlight pouring in from the window.

“Because you're my anchor and I want to be yours.” He answered simply before he bridged the gap between their lips. 

It was a sweet kiss, a nervous kiss, shaking lips meeting in hungered anticipation. Soon it grew and the hunger intensified and bodies were pulled closer, teeth dragging against lips, tongues begging for entrance, fingers intertwined. After several moments and Stiles nearly pulling himself on top of Derek did they finally break apart, foreheads leaning against each other, eyes closed, but lips set into content smiles. 

“Took you long enough.” Stiles teased and Derek had half a mind to kick him off, but Stiles was already leaning down and kissing him again as if the act alone would save him from Derek’s annoyance, which, of course, it did. 

When they broke apart the second time Derek finally brought them back down to reality. “We’re going to take things slow, especially since you’re still recovering.” He expected Stiles to argue, but the boy just rolled off of Derek snuggling in next to him. Derek wrapped his arms around Stiles, protectively.

“Whatever you say, Sourwolf.” He replied sleepily as he grabbed onto Derek’s arms.

Derek waited until he could hear Stiles' breath fall in and out evenly, his heart matching the beat of a peaceful slumber before he allowed himself to drift off to sleep.

And Stiles? He slept through the entire night without a single nightmare.

**Author's Note:**

> Like I said LOTS of feelings! I got sucked into the TW fandom and even more so the sterek fandom recently. I love their dynamic and it's a shame that the writers really slept on their chemistry. Anyway, this was supposed to be WAY shorter, but then I just couldn't stop writing, so yeah. Comments and kudos are always appreciated! Hopefully my first sterek fic isn't too bad, I hope I wrote their characters true enough. Thanks for reading!


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